


Red Blood Hood and the Pudgy Wolf

by Trista_zevkia



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fractured Fairy Tale, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Multi, POV Experimental, Sorry Not Sorry, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:56:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3941062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trista_zevkia/pseuds/Trista_zevkia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only McCoy would have to deal with hecklers while telling a bedtime story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Blood Hood and the Pudgy Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to do something with this, so only McCoy says anything, though he does pretend to be other people while telling a story. So, let me know if it too confusing. =)  
> Sort of inspired by this video, on my tumbler. http://zevkia.tumblr.com/post/118981256583/sam-the-sham-the-pharaohs-lil-red-riding-hood

“If I remember how this goes, it starts with once upon a time. Once, there was a strange little boy. His mother was a different species than everyone else in his village, except him, the hybrid. She had red blood, and to shame him for that part of him, even though it was illogical and they pretended to be logical.”

“Of course I can ‘attribute characteristics to an entire species’ it’s a story.” 

“So the illogical villagers picked on the boy, for something he had no control over so it made no sense, as most bulling doesn’t. As they got older, they made it so he had to wear a hood with a short cape at all times, the same color of his mother’s blood. They started calling him Red Blood Hood, and he decided it was more logical to wear the thing than to fight over it.” 

“No, no interruptions, not even ‘query’. It’s my best chance to tell the story and I’m taking it.” 

“So Red Blood Hood wore his hood whenever he was in public.” 

“No, I do not care about Vulcan fashion trends!” 

“Since Red Blood Hood was so special, he needed a very talented, intelligent, lovable doctor. This special doctor lived deep in the woods …”

“Boy, you ain’t seen me at ‘cantankerous old coot’ but you will soon if you don’t let me finish.” 

“Red Blood Hood got older, and all his contemporaries started, uh, dating. Red Blood Hood wondered if there was something wrong with him, so he decided to go see his kindly doctor. He packed a basket of delicacies …”

“Pecan pie is a delicacy and if you disagree with that I will surgically graft my boot in your ass the next time you’re near dead.” 

“Red Blood Hood took some useful medical hypos that often saved the life of an ungrateful brat, and went to see his doctor. He hadn’t got very far into the woods before he was spotted.” 

“Yes, I’m sure the bright red clothing in a forest had something to do with that. Maybe that’s why he’s wearing it, you know, for this story to proceed!” 

“Spotted in the woods. Now, in these stories, you’ll always hear about wolves wanting to eat the main character, or find something yummy to gobble up. Our wolf was really good at finding things to gobble up. Despite allergies and his doctor’s advice, he was always going for the meat instead of salads, for dessert instead of fruit, and we’re not even going to mention the calories in the alcohol he drank. Really, this wolf was packing on the pounds …”

“Yeah, I’d like to see you try, Captain buddy boy.” 

“The plump wolf, a description that is going in his medical record if he doesn’t shut up, yeah, I thought so. Right, the plump wolf had other healthy appetites that kicked in at his first sight of Red Blood Hood.” 

“Really? I can’t believe you just made that joke in front of these sweet, innocent ears. Think of the therapy in the future, centered around the word plump.” 

“So, our wolf with the impulse control problem went up to Red Blood Hood.” 

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doing, walking in these spooky old woods alone? The wolf leered.” 

“Oh, no one’s going to object to the world ‘leer’. That’s good, since you’re a world class leerer. Probably came out of your momma and leered at the doctor. I know you got a thing for competent doctors.” 

“I’m getting on with it! Calm down.” 

“Red Blood Hood pulled out his phaser and pointed it at the leering wolf. “I traverse this deciduous forest as a solitary creature but I do not lack the mental fortitude to do so without adequate preparation and the ability to eradicate threats to my physical wellbeing.” 

“Shut up, he does so talk like that; especially in an emergency.” 

“Oh, baby,” the wolf leered in response. “I’m not hungry for food.” 

“I will stun you if you seek to alleviate any appetite with me.” Red Blood Hood responded. 

“The wolf was crafty, tricky, so he simply bowed to Red Blood Hood and disappeared into the woods. Red Blood Hood holstered his weapon and went on his way.” 

“What? I don’t know; the red hood might have been a symbol for virginity once upon a time. But that is for adult discussion time, not ‘talking until little ones fall asleep’ time.” 

“Anyway, Red Blood Hood continued to the good doctor. The wolf ran home and put on his disguise; a sheep costume. He knew where Red Blood Hood was going, so he ran back and found a clearing Red Blood Hood would shortly walk through. Getting on his knees, the wolf pretended to be grazing on the healthy plants there, though he was only trying to fool somebody who damn well knew better.” 

“I’m not harping on it; I’m tired of scrubbing the cholesterol out of your system.” 

“So, Red Blood Hood walked into the clearing and saw a sheep, _sincerely eating the available healthy greens_.”

“Excuse me, sheep,” Red Blood Hood said, “I am passing through.” 

“Oh? Can I walk with you?” Asked the wolf in the tight fitting sheep suit. “I’m afraid to be alone, since that wolf ate my huge flock of sheep in one meal, wool and all.” 

“You may walk with me, though I am armed and willing to use it.” 

“I could put up with a great deal of pain to spend time with you, you cool drink of water.” Said the sheep-wolf. 

“Oh, that’s what that means to Vulcans? Not a surprise, I’m sure, but it’s a great deal more sexual to humans. Jim will explain after I’ve gone.” 

“So the disguised wolf and Red Blood Hood walked through the woods. They talked, and got along really well. The wolf waited outside while Red Blood Hood talked to the kindly doctor, and then walked Red Blood Hood back home. The wolf hung around in the woods, and every time he saw Red Blood Hood go into the woods, he threw on his sheep skin and walked with him for a ways. They danced around each other for years like this, decades, though it felt like centuries to those who were forced to watch.” 

“Asexual alien species have commented on the sexual tension between you two; don’t even try that.” 

“Red Blood Hood,” said the wolf, finally. “Your eyes are the kind that drive wolves mad.” 

“I find your eyes to be the eyes of a predator, the better to focus on small prey than the eyes of a sheep, which are better for watching for predators.” 

“I think you have perfect lips for kissing.” The wolf replied, heavy on the suggestion. 

“Your sharp, pointed teeth are made for tearing flesh, not grinding down vegetation as one would expect on a sheep.” Red Blood Hood replied. “It might make one suspicious that you are not what you seem.” 

The wolf dropped his head, trying not to let Red Blood Hood see how unhappy he was. 

“What a big heart you have, Sheep.” Red Blood Hood said. 

“The better to love you with, my dear.” Replied the wolf in disguise, hope in his voice. 

“You interest me more than anyone I have ever met, so would you be my mate?” Asked Red Blood Hood. 

“You would be my mate?” The wolf grappled with the thought for a moment, then threw his head back for a howl of triumph. Remembering he was in disguise, he turned it into a sheepish ‘baa’. “I would love that, but let’s ask your genius doctor if we can have children before we do much else.” 

“For Pete’s sake! I know having kids isn’t the be-all end-all of having a relationship. I’m using it for dramatic tension, and to show the wolf is kind of an idiot when it came to his Red Blood Hood.” 

“Hand in hand, the wolf and Red Blood Hood walked to the doctor’s. They knocked and the wonderfully handsome doctor answered with dignity and charm …”

“Stop laughing! I’ll have you know crankiness is an official charm of the South.” 

“The doctor looked at them holding hands and addressed Red Blood Hood. You know that’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, right?” 

The wolf growled, angry at his disguise being tossed away like that, knowing Red Blood Hood would never mate him if he knew. 

“He put on the sheep skin to fool me,” Red Blood Hood said, shutting the wolf right up. “He made such an effort to convince me he was safe to walk in the woods with that he became honorable. I do not hold his past against him.” 

“The wolf looked at Red Blood Hood with pathetic eyes, overwhelmed by the acceptance.” 

“We were wondering if you could help us have children.” Red Blood Hood asked the genius doctor. 

“Of course I can.” The doctor said, “Though it might take some time.” 

“It wasn’t easy, though it was a great challenge, and it did take a few years. Red Blood Hood and the wolf practically had to move into the doctor’s cabin, but that was alright with everybody. The doctor was so good that when he did get the wolf pregnant, they wound up with triplets instead of the one kid they were aiming for.” 

“Yeah, I know you’re pleased with that; you’ve told me enough times.” 

“Unfortunately, no matter how much the wolf ate, he just wasn’t able to carry all three. The doctor came up with the idea of moving one of the triplets into a surrogate, but it was quickly decided that Red Blood Hood wasn’t a good choice, which is why the doc went with the wolf in the first place. So the doctor, because he was crazy, took one of the triplets into himself.” 

“Yeah, plenty of scientists experiment on themselves, I get that. Still kind of crazy.” 

“Red Blood Hood and the wolf were very nice to the doctor as they lived together. The jealous wolf even let Red Blood Hood help the doctor out when his hormones made him act like the licentious wolf instead of the dependable doctor he was. The doctor even carried the baby a week longer than Red Blood Hood did, making the triplets birthday’s something special. But the babies are all safe and healthy, settled in to the wolf and Red Blood Hood’s house, so the doctor gets to go back to his quiet place in the woods.” 

“Don’t be absurd; I’m fine.” 

“That was a fairytale, and it’s time for the doctor to get back to reality.” 

“Handjobs when I have trouble reaching my own dick are one thing, but pity three-ways aren’t for me.” 

“Of course it’s pity, and gratitude. You two are made for each other.” 

“Of course I love all three of them! I made them, even if I didn’t carry them all.” 

“They are too young to miss me, even if they are part Vulcan.” 

“What?” 

“Jim did you hear him?” 

“You too?” 

“I …”

“Well …”

“I guess we can try it.” 

“I love you two, too.” 

**J <3S <3B<3J**


End file.
